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Dreaming The Queen Awake- How to Align Your Sexuality, Spirituality, and Health to Achieve Your Highest Potential

A client I’ve been working with for about a year recently started seeing a man who treats her like a Queen. 

This being extremely unfamiliar territory for her, has left her wondering if she deserves it?  

Perhaps she should walk away from it.  

His showing of love affection, gifts and inclusivity was feeling like too much and she needed some space to integrate it, but she was not sure how to ask for that space.  Instead of asking for what she needed, she considered walking away from the whole shabang. Thinking maybe she’s just meant to be alone.

Upon deeper inquiry she came to understand that she had never been treated with such deep respect and reverence, and because it was so unfamiliar, she wasn’t sure how to navigate it.  

The creation of a new relationship with a partner who wants to give her the world was overwhelming.  Especially because the things he wants to give her are not necessarily the things she wants to be given.   

Which is why I’m always telling folks, when entering any new relationship, it’s VERY important to teach the other person how to speak your love language. 

The 5 Love Languages

Here’s a quick review of the 5 love languages are:

  1. Acts of Service – you love when your sweetie takes the trash out for you, or hangs the mirror when you ask them to, or gets your oil changed in your car when it’s time.  
  2. Words of Affirmation – You love when your sweetie tells you what a great mom you are, what an incredible cook you are, how beautiful and smart you are.
  3. Gifts – You love when your sweetie brings you flowers, jewels, chocolates, and more.
  4. Physical Touch and Affection – You love when your sweetie caresses your arm, cuddles with you, touches and kisses your face.
  5. Quality Time – You love when your sweetie spends time with you in a very present state, no screens, no distractions.

In general, when someone does not know your love language, they will shower you with their own love language or they will shower you with the love language they learned from a previous relationship.  

Basically, they are guessing, until you teach them how to love you.

One of the first things I recommend that all my coupled up clients do is to read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman together, so they can really begin to understand how their partner likes to be loved, which could be totally the opposite of how they like to be loved.

Honeymoon Phase

Every relationship is a blank canvas, and after the initial honeymoon phase is over, it’s time to slow things down enough to consider which paints you want to use, which brushes will serve you at this point in your life and what colors you want to be looking at for years to come.

The honeymoon phase can last up to 2 years for some couples, but most women will begin to wonder where this is going at about 3-4 months. This is because of their wombs.  

At 3 months gestation a woman knows if her pregnancy is going to hold or not and she can start making plans for her coming baby. 

 I believe because there is such a strong connection between the womb and the heart.   A woman’s heart starts to question where things are going with this exciting new connection, after 3 months (a trimester).  

What Love Language Are You?

After a powerful private coaching session, my client realized that she had manifested her King, which took a lot of internal work on her part, so it would be better not to throw it all away. Instead she would take a pause and figure out how to tell him what feels nourishing to her.  She needed plenty of time and space to herself, and though she was not 100% sure what her love language was yet, she knew that all the gifts he was bombarding her with were overwhelming her senses.  Gifts was not her love language, at least not the gifts he was giving.

Through our session she found her Inner Queen, who gets to have love AND time to herself.  She does not have to apologize for who she is or where she is at in her life. She does not have to hesitate before expressing her desires.  She CAN AND WILL state clearly what her needs are.

She awakened to the fact that other people’s feelings are not her responsibility and that she only has control over her own emotions.

QUEENDOM

If you’re wanting to explore your own Queendom – and feel into what it means to be the Queen of your own life – 

Join me and 6 other experts in the fields of sexuality, psychology, spirituality, dreaming and the feminine arts…… for a ONE DAY virtual retreat called DREAMING THE QUEEN AWAKE – it’s happening on Saturday, May 1st, and I hope to see you there.

LIGHT AND LOVE, 

 

Embodying The Queen – 3 Steps to Sovereignty in Sex, Love, and Life.

Do you harbor the mindset of a queen or a servant?

Due to the many thousands of years of oppression of the feminine that we are still recovering from as a human race, you may have the mindset of a servant, and that’s not your fault.  It’s been engrained by society and passed down from your foremothers, so cut yourself some slack and know that you have the power to shift to a Queen mindset should you choose to.  

If you’re like most women in the world, across time, space, and cultures, you have a very strong practice of giving up your own needs for the needs of others.  You may be in the habit of putting your partner’s needs, your children’s needs, and your boss’ needs ahead of your own.  

I can hear the justifications going off in your mind….“but I have to put my boss’ needs first or I’ll lose my job… I have to take care of my kids, or they will starve.”  I hear you, and I encourage you to ask yourself, if that is really true?  Or is there another truth you could explore, in which you change your perception and pause long enough to nourish yourself before you feed your kids.  Could you take care of your body in some way before you begin the next task at work?  

Shifting to the Queen mindset does not have to be a massive overhaul, it doesn’t have to be a dramatic change.  It’s the subtle changes you make that give way to your life unfolding with a sense of sovereignty.  Uncovering the layers of doubt, fear and shame that inhibit your sovereignty is the first step to embodying the Queen.

Let’s pause to define sovereignty

Sovereignty is the authority to govern one’s own life with authenticity.  This means that you make choices based on what you truly want and not because you feel pressured to do so. You pause throughout the day long enough to make sure you are resourced.  You can be present with each moment and receive something joyful through the very act of being present. You have a strong connection to your body and you know when something feels off, whether physical or spiritual.

Don’t worry, you are not alone if this is something you are still finding your way to. Some people never claim their sovereignty, they spend their entire lives doing for others and making choices based on others needs and desires.  You may have been passed down a strong AND unconscious belief that you are not worthy of all the riches you wish you had….Riches in intimacy, riches in time and space to do the things you love.  Riches in health, home and finances.

If this is not you, congratulations!  While you are in the minority you have done the inner work to break free from the invisible chains of feminine oppression, and just by doing this you inspire others in your life to do the same. So, thank you!

CLAIM IT

But if that is not yet you, once you learn to embody the archetype of the Queen, you will quickly see that you are worthy of all those riches, and more!  No one will create it for you — that’s part of the Queendom you are evolving into, learning how to let go of anything that is not bringing you closer to your highest potential, and receiving anything that is. 

You have everything you need within you to create a life where you are showered in blessings and gifted with grace, but you may need some support in learning how to use what’s in you. That’s why we’ve created the Dreaming The Queen Awake One-Day Retreat.

EMBODYING THE QUEEN

The Three Steps

As you initiate yourself into Queendom there will be some decisions to make, there will be some things to let go of, there will be moments of expansion that you’ll doubt you are capable of, but rest assured; if you’re feeling stretched and uncomfortable you’re on the right path!

The Queen is the Empress of the heart. The heart and the small intestine are paired together in Chinese medicine and they are ruled by fire.  SO, since the small intestine is all about separating nutrients from waste (pure from impure), it gives you the magical powers of DISCERNMENT!  If the small intestine gets overwrought with too much to digest (in life, and on your plate), it will not have the space it needs to discern well. 

ALL ABOUT THE CONNECTION

You may have heard of the gut-brain connection.  The brain in your head and the brain in your gut both have neuropathways that mirror each other. Well this is it, discernment, knowing what is nourishing for you and what is toxic.  

Learning to discern and follow your truth brings you into a state of congruence, and when you are in that state life falls into place and the gifts reign down.  Your truth comes from your heart, which is also a neuropathway center in your body.  These three brains; the head, heart and gut all need to be in agreement about your relationship, your work, your health, your family, your home, and how you move through the world. Then you will be embodying the Queen.

The second step to embodying the Queen, is mastering your discernment.  Get this super-power dialed in and you’ll eliminate a lot of pain and heartache that takes you off course and scatters your chi.  If something is not in alignment with you becoming the Queen of your own life then send it to the waste, don’t entertain it or let it into your heart space.  If something is showing up in support to you becoming the Queen, even if it scares you, say yes to it.

The third step to Queendom is receptivity.  Receiving is the feminine greatest power, yet most women are terrible at it. The truth is that receiving involves non-doing and non-doing has been highly undervalued for eons.  But here we are, learning how to receive as a collective. No matter your gender, becoming a master at receiving will change your life for the better. 

FOCUS ON RECEIVING

To begin your practice of receiving, close your eyes and tune into your sense of sound. Listen to the furthest away sound, then listen to the closest sound, then listen to the sound of your own breath.  Awaken your sensual ears and listen.  When you are truly listening, you are in the present moment and  you can only receive what is happening in the present moment. You can receive sounds as a tangible practice, but you can also receive feelings, gifts, love, compliments, touch, and wisdom.  What are you receiving right now in this moment?

There are many layers to Embodying the Queen and there are many sectors of your life in which to do that. The question is, where do you need support in embodying the queen in your life right now?  Is it in multiple sectors or just a few specific ones?

No matter where you are at in your journey to embodying the Queen, I’ve got you back and I’m here to support you in stepping into full regality and taking the throne of self-worth and expansion as your own.

COME JOIN US for DREAMING THE QUEEN AWAKE